The Front is that Prick of a Needle Only Sharper

i meant for the title of this post to be fraiser-esque but there is definitely no humour intended in this post. the front of the year, the start of a brand new time, as some would put it, is the culmination of champagne-popping, alcohol-drenched laughter and incessant happiness because of this blurry, or otherwise, belief that the beginning is the cleansing of the bad of the year that has past, a fresh beginning, a no ordinary morning.

and as though i could get any more dramatic with my words, the beginning of this year has been draped with a veil of black, tainted with white blood. and only this dramatism, no one would dare mock.

as i stumbled the festive mood away, i sat by the pane of the iconic octagonal window (of the Ritz) -staring out of it, looking at the washed-skies and the nicoll highway glimmered by the morning drizzle. the question of unnecessary pain came to me with the episode of this most unexpected of natural disasters, ever so untimely, in sachets of shame and disgust. shame and disgust because i had not given my respect amidst my times of drunked jubilance, vodka and grapefruit-martini awashed without the slighest feel and remembrance of the literal floods that trouble many, closer to me than i thought. the front (of 2005) is that prick of a needle, only sharper.

i shall not endear all in a retrospective journey of reminescence of 2004 because memories rearrange themselves automatically when the need arises. but i thought it necessary to start the new year right, even if it partly means re-inaugurating my blog, lied dormant for the dust of months and the perpetuator of sloth must be squashed in this rude awakening of humanity. 2005 had been also rudely ushered in on a more personal front, that again i shall not affront all with because the details of which is indeed supremely personal. i guess people do surpass your own expectations even if it means you refuse to admit to it, or more like in denial to. take this extreme-tragedy for example. who would have thought, that in this day and age of advanced technology- light years from where we started, something of such catastrophic grandeur and supreme sadness could happen in what i call a 'meteorological catharsis'. if nature, of such supposedly constance and in Godly hands, could be of such unexplainable release, much less the inconstant human nature, that constantly seeks to surprise and surpass, with its agents of will and greed. is it really tough then to expect or even minutely hoping that a person one knows so closely, could change beyond one's wildest imagination?

when asked what was my new year's resolutions, i said besides resolving to be a better person as an entirety, i shouldn't really be asking for more since i'm grateful for all the things i have in my life up to this point. and solely judging from the party at Ritz, many people would affirm that for me. i've always treasured my friends because people form a large, and almost-consuming part of my life. The room was fantastic, made only more fantastic with the view and the people that were present. for memory sake, there were my closest 2, mavis, ZH+bets, the wacko-duo of my study pals, sabz+maureen, the bung, jon kam, leon, jason yeo (who arrived in the most fashionable lateness of 3am) and meryl+nic. the party went great, and perhaps some got on much better with others than some did. as a whole, it went more than just alright.

i shan't get too despondent in view of the beginning of a new year where the slate is still optimistically clean. but don delillo said something in 'white noise' that i think he should stand corrected, purely from my personal experience: 'our helplessness is incompatible with the idea of a man-made event'. i think it is. one can really that helpless when exposed to a man-made event where the heart is the only thing at stake.

finally, a moment's mourn for those engulfed by the wrath of the tsunamis.