Saturday, March 05, 2005

Two-three: The Roomful of Love

yes it's that time of the year again, the crossing of age, the transcendence of time or a minor crossroad reached. i always believed that something within you changes everytime you cross a birthday line. it might be a perspective of something, some weird part of your psychosis or just a maturing or dematuring of some necessary facet that's required for you to move on with life. i think that might just be what's happening with me now, two days before the dawning of my big two-three.

may i first add that twenty three is a rather daunting number. hsien, just know that it applies to men too so stop the whine for that tad. it's the mid age between twenty and mid twenties, an unwelcome march towards ancientdom.ha.ok being dramatic doesn't help but everyone goes through it, might as well deal with it.

it was literally a roomful of good friends. everyone that i wanted to see, who are here in singapore, were there in that room. thinking back it's quite the luck and gratitude of my life. i need moments like these to remind myself that i should never fucking complain about how lonely i am. some people literally dropped what they had to do to be in that room and i'm here sulking how lonely i am. i'm too much theatrics and bullshit sometimes. i have, in this lifetime, the right to say that i have a roomful of friends, who are not simply hi-bye or friends that i need beside me for some higher perpetuatory purposes, they are all friends i keenly wanted to see. it was a very deep sense of joy and gratitude that i'm swimming in right now. it's overwhelming and tithering on the fringes of being emotional especially with ek's card. i have no idea what i have done to deserve such friends to exist in my life. and the best thing is, i'm feeling this at the aftermath of one of the most sober parties i ever had at my place or otherwise. it's a very entrenching feeling and it's more than just feeling warm all over or merely being thankful for what you have. it's a true understanding (albeit i need to learn to embrace it more steadfastly) that i have no cause to complain what i'm lacking in the romantic realm of my life. i always claim that it's always different, that special someone, but i think it's a lot of fluff and overhyped propagandized material that is inflating this feeling. to come down to it all, i have to learn to be content, to always think so many other people can never truly say that they have a roomful of love. ok u can take it the Freudian way but i don't serve to tease here.

so at this juncture, it's this deep understanding and bare feel of this love that i leave all you people tonight. thanks for all who came and made this happen. and it's apologies out if it's like a wussy piece of writing. but looking at the photos, the presents, the cards and the conversations, you would die to be in my position. take that.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

For someone who brings so much joy n love into his friends' lives, a "roomful of love" is the very least u deserve... Happy Birthday with lots and lots of luuurrrve. We celebrate you on yr special day!

Anonymous said...

it's so nice to have a sober party!! then i dun have to decorate ur porch with bile salts and lactate.

I can see u are happy. u'd be having fun with ur new ang moh frens at some scottish pub this time next year! Happy Birthday!

-LL

Anonymous said...

aww.. you're all grown up.

Heya stuudd. *wink*. long time. Glad you're feeling sufficiently wonderful about being 23 that you took time to write.

Here's wishing you all the love in the world and may you always have a significantly posh room of friends-forever-friends-for-real buddies to throw you fabulous soiree-s! Happy Birthday.

p/s: I finally met Betula here. She's amazing. She's my weekly dose of distraction at lectures now.

*hugs*

Anonymous said...

Glad to have been at your sober soiree, babe. Here's to your 'HRMGDD' and many more to come. Hurrah!

Thanks for letting us be a part of your roomful of love, and for reminding us of what's important in life. For caring, and for always being within reach.

Happy 23th, dude.

eth said...

wow i check back a little while later and a plethora of kind words i get. really thanks all for your snippets of linguistic kindness and well-wishes.

and meryl it has indeed been a long time. i didn't quite catch you after that posh party at ritz. and speaking of which, how's betula? coincidentally that was also the last time i saw her. maybe ask her to contact me or something?

and just mich, thanks for proclaiming the "HRMGDD". it is now vital that we educate the masses starting with this elite group here. so HRMGDD is actually *tada* His Royal Majesty Guojian's Day of Descendance. here tither. haha.

now onward march to twenty-four.