These skis don't slide back

After 3 hours of cross-country skiing in the norwegian near-wilderness, on a virgin experience, it spells rather-be-dead tired and severance of all cross-country skiing ties. On the contrary, i got more and more invigorated until i finally rested at charlotte's place at night when that familiar rather-be-dead tiredness took me by storm and made me an instant incapax to my bed. But boy that was one experience to remember- trying to duck walk up the slopes whilst doing the 'danish walk', turning ur skis inwards so just to cut the snow to get more friction upslope. and the downslope which made me feel like a complete baby taking his/her first steps. but to take in the sights of norway snowscape at the same time with a good norwegian friend by your side encouraging you along the way subsumes the fatigue and the negative feelings one can easily produce since trying to even slide on cross-country skis on a first-time basis is thoroughly frustrating. when we reached the top of tryvann, ingrid and i sat down, eating a kvikk lunsj (pronounced as though it's 'quick lunch', which is a typical norwegian cross-country snack having an uncandid resemblance to kit-kat only tasting heavens better) and an orange, chatting about life whilst being encapsulated by the white around, onlooking the oslo cityscape. the cliche goes words only does injustice, but it is truly the case here. as tired as it got, i would want to feel that sort of rush again anytime.

and so that puts a grand full stop to my oslo trip, me having done all the things i set out to- ice-skating, alpine skiing and cross-country skiing. and this is topped by seeing friends that i probably won't see for some time to come. and to see them all at once is indeed a rather heartening pleasure. i had a hasty rush through oslo the last time but this time, with a more thorough immersion in the norwegian way of life, made more acute through the locals that were such great hosts, i must say norway is beautiful in more ways than just it's mesmerizing scenery, be it at sea level or 500metres up. i guess friends make all the difference and in a way, they show you their city/country through their eyes and that can make or break your experience or outlook to that certain city/country. so all credits go to ingrid, charlotte, karine, anders and andre who, through their generous spirits and all-embracing hospitality, have made Norway one of the loveliest countries i've ever been, to say the very least.

The Revenge of the Black Slope

it's been a spate of winter sports jam-packed into these 2 days or rather 2 evenings, beginning with ice-skating yesterday and alpine (downhill) skiing today. i think the norwegians stay so cheerful because from my personal experience, winter sports are a sure fun way to beat the winter blues, and norway has superior winter facilities to beat, including skiing just 20 minutes from oslo sentrum (city centre). so it's quite an interesting sight to see a whole carriage of people with skis, snowboards and sleighs on the T-bane (metro) making their way up to ski. and that's what we did today, taking the train from oslo sentrum right up to vokenkollen which is the base station up to tryvånn which boasts the only city-centre skiing in all of europe. a boast i think is only fair. and i have something to boast of too- i tried a black slope and did 2 red ones when i only started treading on the green one at the beginning of the evening. this is a self-pride which comes with a conquering of psychological obstacles and doesn't come easy, so i'm going to go on and on about this one until the next time i ski. *beams* Pictorial evidence to be presented real soon. so this is the norwegian lifestyle really. people knock off from work, transform themselves into a winter warrior and trudge up to the mountains to strut their winter prowess, and it's all in a day's work, literally. and given that oslo is so beautiful in winter, it only adds to the charm and that motivation as mid-day inertia marches into the anti-work system. so far i'm really enjoying it and all's a spectacle to me. but granted that i had a fair amount of snow up my facial orifices today before all went reasonably right, it will take some time for me to adjust to this sort of lifestyle.

but u try topping a black slope.

Of winter wanderlust and superior recissive genes

Norway, or to be more assimilatively colloquial, Norge, has been really welcoming so far and i shouldn't really complain about the absence of a røyskopp airport music-fantastica pickup. This is made especially so with friends here who have been most accommodative in rekindling this feeling we left behind in Edinburgh. The weather was to beat as well, considering the historic snowfall last week which massive remnants (oxymoronic i know, but sure beats 'leftover snow') we witnessed all the way into Oslo from Sandefjord where the remote plot of airstrip + building they call an airport, was. The effect is breathless, and combined with the norwegian radio that was semi-blasting in the background going incessantly about the torino updates, white noise is born (it's only literal, i don't mean to get allegorical). but the large white sheets of snow that fleeted us by were simply gorgeous, with cabins/wooden houses to dot the landscape with a refreshing change of colours and visual texture.

And it was great catching up with ingrid, ånders (pronounced ar-nish) and karine after quite awhile. the warmth we felt made the -6 degrees celsius a comfortable gran canaria, it was just more than pleasant seeing them again. After some catching up at Ingrid's 3 by 3 room, we went to Karine's where we were going to put up, at Jessheim. the house is tremendously adorable, a true archetypal norwegian cabin-house complete with pine interiors and a white-washed exterior. it was a charming environment made ever-so norwegian by the snow stacking up also, which looks like it's going to take quite awhile to melt away. although it's a hefty £6 to get into oslo sentrum each time, the experience living in a norwegian household, is simply priceless. and plus it's a comfortable distance to go skiing from here and i'm going to try cross-country skiing for the first time- i'm turning norwegian here!

the norwegian winter experience starts and i would scream with excitement but that's just, rude. HA.

This rollercoaster ride is way too bumpy

it's almost like doing a triathlon without any adequate pitstops. this 2 weeks has been such a rollercoaster ride. too much to update and i hardly want to sound like a stenographer and listing is just boring. i don't do boring. cos my life is tremendously exciting, tomorrow i head for norway to ski after a short trip to newcastle. last weekend was manchester which was an industrial bore. then the incessant pieces of work i had to do, i guess that's what i'm here for but it was just merciless piece after piece. and there was the sick week where it was so bad i couldn't recognise myself. Then came the depressing, couple-trickery day where a bouquet of fresh roses costs a village in Angola. i had a good dinner though, Case was kind enough to whip up a lovely italian dinner complete with my favourite italian entree: proscuitto with melon! the pasta main was great too, saved me from dwelling into the abyss of being lonely and the likes. yes yes Goldfrapp concert- allison doing the pink cape with constant winds swerving up (i.e. the wind effect) makes her look cool actually, i thought it would be corny. and of course the vibe of the whole concert was electrifying, was so much fun.

sigh another birthday is looming (yes the choice of vocabulary is just about right) and what is it about these things that become gradually depressing, that one wants to skip increasingly desperately. we've heard it too many times: with age comes wisdom, maturity and career development, etc. ya i want to be young and have all those. might be asking for a little too much, but till the first wrinkle appears i'm gonna celebrate my birthdays in full glam and style, so bring them on, i'm brave enough to face you straight on, climbing numbers of age. at the most i'll reminiscent of things past and laugh at what's gone past and know that i've had all those amazing times. especially this year, lots to look back upon with this exchange stint. so yes, till i return from norway then.

Touch Me Inappropriately

alright, that was just some random pharse i thought i would use to excite some curiosity. now now, sordid thoughts do some exodus.

it's the start of another new year and i thought it pivotal to enter an entry. things have been good so far this year. some nice people met along the way and of course, of paramount importance is my first step into the City with the Freshfields interview in my bag. was rather surprising, given that the 'get-to-know-me' part of the interview lasted a very thorough ten-minute in totality. and of course a bad vibe ensued. but all turned out well in the end and i get to be a pseudo City lawyer for 2 weeks over Easter. it must be an experience to wow-all over. bite me.

it's the first year that i'm gonna not be with my family for the lunar new year. 'tis feels a wee strange but if i'm going to venture into London for my career, i guess i have to get used to it. the most important thing being them safeguarding my ang-paos and not distribute them like a supper of the vultures.=) i'm going to have a reunion of such, of strangers no less, with the other Singaporeans here. it'll be fun, i'm sure, but it's not going to be the same with the people u've spent your life with. habits must be broken some times.

and as an expolation of my asian mood, i went to catch memoirs of a geisha yesterday. if you spare it from the connections with the arthur golden novel, it's actually quite a brillant film in its own rights. i think it reflects enough of what goes on in that epoch to give the audience a good-feel of the life of a geisha. in that manner, it has served its purpose its own stead. cinematography is gorgeous and the score by le maestro, John Williams, is flawless, in swimming up the mood of pre-war Japan, and the undercurrent emotions that sweeps through the movie. it is just seamless, rush to HMV all of you.

tell me all about your individual new year passings. i should grow all jealous but i want to know. happy lunar chinese new year to all you out there and woof woof.=)

At the Beginning

At this auspicious hour i thought i would enter an entry to announce that i'm all well, despite whatever mishaps i had experienced and whatever joys that have befell upon me.

It's the start of a new year once more. The inauguration of resolutions, the spanking up of ash-dead wishes and the eternal hope of a new year that will be better. And i had been lucky to be in edinburgh. It's been maginificent really- what with the grandieous fireworks, wonderful friends to enjoy them with and the state of being sloshes but still feeling good at the end. Hogmanay was a blast though i must concur that the day prior was better with the Catalan parades and dazzling displays of stilt-walkers dressed as dinosaurs and miscellaneous jesters to make it all that much different from the rest of parades i've witnessed.

the new year, what can i say about it. the past year hasn't treated me bad- i got my exchange, my fair share of parties- a combination of fun and introspection with the aftermaths and friends that has proven to tide with me through thick and thin, that i'm most grateful for. i don't believe in resolutions for either you feel pressured to oblige with them or one just breaks them without the conscious knowledge that it is just simply a poor reflection of one's character with the lack of mental discipline or the likes. i had mishaps and unpleasant people and experiences to boot but we learn to look at the bright side of things- the glass HAS to be half full. it's all psychology and we have to amend our state of minds to deal with bad situations. afterall they pop out right in front of you without notice and rather than sulk at the poor situations that you are presented with, might as well make the best out of a bad circumstance. it's idealistic but really, in this disappointing world we live in, it's the best one can manage. like my trip to italy with my gorgeous camera pickpocketed from me, I have to look back and realise that I have been to pisa, firenze, roma, verona, venezia and padova all in one trip and they have been pretty places that few can aspire to go to. i have been lucky really and what money can solve, are no problems at all. my mum and certain friends have mentioned that the best memories u can keep are the ones in your mind. so there we go.

anyhoo, here's a happy new year to all who's been so kind as to read this. festive hugs to all and i must say, it has been a gorgeous year, thanks to all the members who have made it so and here's a toast to another fantastic year ahead. sante!

The Firenze Chapter

pisa wasn't very welcoming what with the rains adding burden to my lugging around 20kg worth of luggage around just to catch a glimpse of Torre Pedente around Campo Dei Mircoli. you guessed it, what else is there in Pisa more eponymous than the leaning tower of Pisa? but the rain was hinting i should pack and go, and that I did, or try to, only to find out that trenitalia's on strike that day so i can't use my pre-booked ticket, and have to buy a new bus ticket to Firenze (Florence) altogether. irks.

but firenze has been kind. no rain. people were generally helpful with an abundance of sign language (italians really should consider learning a wee bit more English to blend in- Gucci and Prada is only gonna get them so far). the florentine republic and medici family has left behind much for a tourish to go a-gawking quite oftenly, mostly where art's concerned. i saw botticelli's birth of venus, michaelangelo's david and a few obscure da vincis. it's quite something really. the uffizi is a little of a let-down but the general historical-renaissance vibe to the city makes up for that nicely. it's also small enough so easy to commute. that's why i'm not looking forward to venice with its literal backwaters that will swoosh your directions all awry.

well i'll check back in here soon. i'm lucky to have internet connection here. rome might be a different story. so catch you guys back soon.

The Mediterranean Axis

from barcelona, spain, i embark onto another peninsular-that of the Italian one, in the shape rightly that of a boot. barcelona was a quirky town sprinkled by Gaudi's genius and his contemporaries trying to outdo him just upped the quirk-factor. pictures will tell everything, go check them out.

oh yes, talking about jet-setting, i had a norweigan advent dinner last night with the norweigan girls here. and i had a small surprise gift because my porridge had the almond nut in it (small game/tradition they do). you start off with glugg, a sorta boiled red wine and other spirits and you add crushed almonds in the drink with optional raisins to go. it's nothing like the norm and quite delightful as a winter beverage. the porridge was the secondi and a red soda drink to go, funny thing it was. oh the porridge was salty and sweet at the same time. it was basically milk and rice and on top of everything u add a small slab of butter, sugar and cinnamon powder to finish. special eh? it was quite a treat.

so now on i go to italy, looking forward to the land, not so excited about the people. have dealt with some of them in the UK, and they are the most capricious, emotionally-unsettled people you can ever meet. it met be a stereotype, let's just pray it is. i'll write more when i return. take care all.

Primal Scorch

suddenly one day,
you wake up to a freefall
through scratched skies
splattered by anarchaic clouds
shapeshifting to the
crimes of your mind.

And you land in the
repulsion of free colours-
the once verdure pasture,
now a bleeding harvest
of black and sighing flowers
that bloom out of sympathy.

Your heart screams
in this bleak wilderness of
your stampeded mind-
speaking a language
too foreign to your
sinking consciousness.

While you get shoved
into the reality that what you have been feeling all this while,
are conditioned lies,
brewed by bent education
and betrayed sentiments.

The forecast is finally right

it's snowing! first snow is always exciting, especially since there hasn't quite been snow in my life since 2002 maybe? ya last was at tahoe, good times eh, ek? i was quite the 11 year old boy earlier this morning when i saw snow through my frosted windows and went 'SNOW!' and promptly dashed out without much snow protection, bar the ski cap, and welcomed the snow with arms wide open. even arthur's seat was snow-capped. the feeling's immense, you have to be here to go 'wow'. but i'll post some vicarious snow on here, once i get my lazy arse moving.

tra-lah-lah.

The sun and fretted verdure yielding to the rubicund of face

this is proposterous: minus 5 degrees not in the dead of winter but quite in the vivacity of mid november. the grass didn't even have a chance to wither off, brown in and die off- it's just a vast scene of its verdure blanketted by this cruel frost. no wonder the vikings gave in to the rubicund brought about alcoholised water, i.e. beer, to bring about a false sense of warmth to struggle through winter.

so that's about all i have to update really, dreaded climate. you have to wrap yourself up in a hundread thousand and two layers before you can be in full combat mode to battle off the blistering cold. on days i can be actually wearing next to ski gear to school, 8 minutes away, and be whining about the cold in a heated seminar room. it's really that bad. it's gonna be a harsh winter and that's a gross understatement. but money brings fortune- big part of december would be spent in the mediterraean, Spain and Italy where climates would hopefully be more accommodative. London was surprisingly cold as well but the company and clubs made it all alright. I even bought Four Seasons duck up and had it for lunch for 3 consecutive days, which is salivatingly gorgeous. the train ride up is magnificently picturesque as well so it took a long of hours away.

looks like even i have to yield to the rubicund of face/health, to pull through this inhospitable climate, a meteorological phenomenon for a Singaporean...*brrrr*

The Ikea Effect

when ironies prophesize themselves into reality, it's time to get worried. the ikea effect is bringing about modern day vacations actually becoming more stressful. so in the end people take a few days after their vacation so as to wind down from the 'vacation-stress'- an avant-garde terminology we thought we never see.

if those who still cannot seethe out the approximate idea of the ikea effect on modern day vacationing, it is simply that the DIY concept, pushing prices down et al, is having a reverse effect on what should be a relaxing holiday, conceiving the oxymoron stressful-holiday. to give a most lurid example is my recent trip to paris. the disclaimer is that i had the most amazing time in paris and it's alright in my own opinion but i'm not sure if what i did would be approved by the majority. i rushed about paris, doing up to 3 major attractions in a day, running about the city to make sure i catch them all by 5pm. so in a way, going about alone is good since you never have to hear complaints and incessant whines from parties grudgingly tagging along. but on the flipside, it's fun if you can find company like that, rushing about but yet having fun in this mad rush- the order in anarchy theory. but these people, like real romance and style-with-function cars, come far in between. so say i did notre-dame, le conciergerie, saint chapelle, palais de justice, shopping at boulevard st.germain and had a glimpse of le parthenon all in one day. and get this: i covered 2/3 of musee du louvre in 6 hours. i'm almost gleaming with overarching accomplishments, haha. but to a lot of people, all these seemed like a demented itinerary for a boot camp made in hell.

but Paris is amazing. it's almost like Rome draped in Chanel- history in haute coutre. it might not seem justified but you have to give concessions to the notorious parisien pride- they have truly something amazing to be proud of. nationalism comes from a very innate sense of the love of the land- terra amoureux, so to speak.

the ikea effect is overblown really. at the end u feel that you have seen more, experienced more and taken away more, so what's the harm in that. stress is overrated anyhow, only the truly successful tames it and whips it in shape- because you yourself are the master of all your faculties and the products of your faculties. then again, it might just be the parisien effect trumping this said effect, and marring my judgment. *wink*

Welcome to my truth

i bet few of you know that Halloween actually originated from Scotland. yes it did, without a vestige of doubt. this is what i call the malediction of americanist-homogenisation. so right now, i think i'm going to exercise a modicum of cultural snobbery and say (even though i'm not from here, but am here now, that's all it matters indeed), "this is of scottish origins, bears no american roots whatsoever". and it makes sense because everywhere in scotland is haunted somehow. the history of the ghosts.

glad we got things cleared up.

China Forbes On the Piano

before i embark on a full-fledged account of Paris (which was tres magnifigue by the way), i think i should make mention of a recent concert i attended- of Pink Martini at the Usher Hall. the title of this post is derived from the lead chanteuse (China Forbes) finishing one of the songs by slamming her butt on the piano, and the dissonance works so well somehow. this is impromptu performance at its peak.

needless to say the concert was a blast. the orotund enunciation of latin beats, french jazz and big band sounds did much service to the auditory. China Forbes's voice was polished and her French was sultry-sexy with the tinge of laziness which gave the entire ambience a very chill-out feel. it was made more special by its aberrant take on the synthesis of different genres of music, enmeshing them to create a most unique sound. it was literally a musical trip round the world without leaving the comforts of your chair- there was japanese geisha-dances fused with latin influences (the drums et al), french swing, comedic American jazz chansons (with a funny story to boot) and traditional feast of French jazz and the likes. the chemistry within the band is incredible as well, they build upon one another like a seamless piece of clothing, comfortable in each other's creativity and impromptuness. this 10-piece orchestra really gave its audience an evening to remember. so if you get the chance check out their latest offering- hang on, little tomato. (see how much fun they're having?..haha)

meanwhile, i think i shall try the butt-slamming on the piano keyboard thing, unexpected results may occur!

Hemingway, Pound, Picasso et gang cannot be all wrong

Salut tout le monde! C'est le meilleur temps pour utiliser le langue Français parce que je suis à la endroit qui la epitomé etre Française! Mais le clavier d'ordinateur est complètement différent donc j'arreterai maintenant.

Le Paris! What else can i say, well not much in French apparently- my linguistic skills shrink in the heat of pressure and obligatorily hastened speeds. Well this keyboard is majorly pissing me off with the completely out of whack arrangement of the letters and i'm typing like a semi-retard, and it so arrests inspiration. Why must the French do Everything differently? Have to make it short but Paris is completely fantastique- her beauty draws deep from her well of civilisation and history, and the people so far is really not as snooty as you would stereotypically think. And plus I saw La Tour Effiel, in light rain- oh a perfect beginning to a French romance! Cliché as it can be, it really is not when you bask in its splendour and the surreal feeling that you are actually in paris starts settling down. Tomorrow i thinkk i will try battling ,y wqy through the biggest flea market here- Marché aux Puces de Saint-Ouen.

I promise to report more and post pictures once i get back into Edimbourg but meanwhile use your imagination which must be soaked in sour grape juice! Taha.

Someone always has to cry at my party

euphemistically, edinburgh has never been so clean since summer. but rubbishly speaking, the weather has been a putrid thing. night temperatures dropping below 8 celsius and unstoppable winds howling as if the cold isn't enough to curse and swear till you see a semblance of a radiator. yes, the party is officially over, the resident scottish weather is here and looks to play host for quite awhile. i even had to row, raining, today- wasn't dreadful per se but the cold gets you right through the bones and your hands, even with constant activity, becomes disturbingly a separate entity from yourself.

no exciting news to update really except that i'm going barcelona in dec, before my exams! yes!

alright that was juvenile, so sue me. *sinister laughter*

oh and i made really good seared salmon with herb and butter sauce. the onions charred quicker than i thought but otherwise it was quite delish. and i'm off to my ben & jerry's irish licquor coffee ice cream.

The Epistemology of being (pissed) Drunk

it's hard not to get smashed in edinburgh, what with immense peer pressure and ridiculously cheap pints to go, one is doing oneself a gargantun disservice by just not drinking. and what's fun in being sober your whole freaking life? there goes the epistemology of being drunk- good company and the rationalization of inherent existentialism.

pardon me, i just came back from the rowing initiation and you know what the british initiation is like- plenty of booze without any backtracking of soberness. when comfortist cant (insecere talk, not cannot without the apostrophe) is dispelled to the outer realms of human interaction and everyone is just insanely fun. rowing has been a blast, what with the adrenaline of pushing your legs against the stern and the oars gliding against the waters generating acceleration like none other. today's session was the best so far, because people were executing their balancing task in the utmost fashion, none of the jock attitude of wishing to shine off at the expense of the others on board. appalling behaviour, that: never emulate.

sorry for the lack of update these past few days. the excesses of time has not been occuring and i have been utterly abstemious with the utilisation of it- if you just completely understood what's been happening here. the piling list of readings (an average of a vomitus 22-cases per seminar), rowing trainings on 4 days, 2 at an unearthly hour of 7am and the socialising I have to go for, otherwise i'll be in dire need of friends/company. so there goes my week.

one event deserves worthy mention. the sempiternal praises i've received for my curry evening where 5 harsh judges unanimously gave thumbs up for my singapore curry chicken. it was honestly quite gorgeous and i'm pretty glad i'm turning out to be quite the chef. maybe i should rent some newton-circus stall and start a curry stall or something..haha. that's not gonna happen anytime soon if i'm gonna work towards the slaughter and may offer of £51K a year. but then again this culinary success is going to shed much effulgence on my reputation and a good company to keep. oh yes and i went to rǿyksopp (pronunced as ray-yu-sob) in glasgow and it was pure ecstasy. the beat was grand and the operatic vocals gave a good twist to the otherwise too-trancey feel. glasgow's aesthetically appalling when compared to the long-drawn history of edinburgh. otherwise it was good fun.

read back soon, cos edinburgh's way fun and i'm getting used to my lifestyle here, which is kinda scary if you really think about it.

Trotting upon some rites of passage

i should be finally settling in. my bank account is finally alive, my courses are confirmed and friends are gradually piling along. and the best thing is, hold onto your tiny seats of self-contentment ladies and gentlemen, but i'm going to Paris for 5 days next month over reading week (it's a fantastic thing how not to have your parents knowing you blog). i got a cheap end of the deal but it also means i'm flying into bizarre, out-of-the-way airports and having to coach into the respective cities for a bit.

anyhow the highlands was an amazing trip. i think it's the first time i can say that my mere camera/photography skills do not do justice to the topograhic spectacle that i was presented with. the massive, rolling landscape is so dramatic that you stand amazed at its splendeur and wonder. it is obviously accentuated by the fact that i probably come from one of the most 'exciting' geographical country in the world. i would so immure myself in the landscapes that i saw only that i will probably get bored after 3 days without cyberspace. if u're keen, i actually went north towards this city called Perth from edin and onwards towards the cairngorms national park, which is incidentally the largest national park in britain. and we spent a night in aviemore, a medium-sized town popular with skiiers in the winter. then the next day onwards we went to Inverness after doing a short walk in the Rothiemurchus which has been quoted to be one of the 100 best places in the british isles. it was a wonderful walk around one of the lochs (scottish for a large body of freshwater)- Loch an Eilein. Inverness if the capital of the highlands but we went south instead to the all famous Loch Ness where we circled the loch and was absolutely taken aback by how marvellous it is. i haven't been impressed by pure scenic-ness for a long while now, well maybe given i always head to cosmopolitan areas for holidays. anyhow, we stayed a night at Drummanochit, which is the hottest tourist spot by Loch Ness because that is also where someone caught sight of Nessie, giving rise to loch ness fame. thereafter we headed down to Fort Augustus and Fort William and headed back to Edinburgh after quite a mishap enroute to the car rental site. so that's it. though pictures don't do justice, they still speak volumes of its immense beauty so go check them out if you haven't already done so.

alright i'm back to catching up with my european union law which i'm a complete daft at. check back at this space soon then.

Quick update

yes i'm very much still alive and i just returned unscathed from a trip to the dramatic scottish highland and no, not a trace of that illusive loch ness monster, or nessie as it is so affectionately known as. school officially started today and my courses are still left unconfirmed, plus more frustratingly my internet is still not up yet- expletives censored. the efficiency levels here will be the dearth of any singaporean civil servants who might visit here.

but more of the highlands when i update next, since i'm in the very private mass orgy of computers in the biggest academic library in scotland now. how's everyone doing? updates people!

Don't spray all over the law

overheard:

'sorry ma'am, the size of your tootsies (breasts) grossly violates our human trafficking laws.'

crunch on it.

...